Standing there in a beautiful white gown, publicly saying the vows to the man I loved, I had no idea that I would be married to a different man a few years later. I married thinking that we were rock solid, we had each other and we were going to face the world together. Marriage isn’t something I take lightly, I still struggle with my morals to this day. Did I try hard enough to save the marriage? Was it really that bad? This is something I will question for the rest of my life and it’s something that I will keep in mind in the wonderful life I’m sharing with Mr.Garza. I may not have done everything I could have done to save my previous marriage, but I was not the only one who needed to put in the effort. It takes two people to communicate, to sustain a happy marriage. There are ups, there are downs, maybe evening counseling. It will be different in every marriage.
Some couples jump to marriage because they are expecting and some because it’s the “next level”. Who is anyone to say what is the next level for your relationship?A lot of people argue that it’s just a piece of paper and will never get married. Then there are those who believe it is just a piece of paper but get married despite that fact. They don’t think this is the person they will be spending the rest of their life with but they marry them anyway. The other individual has no idea of the fact and believes their marriage is solid so they are ready to move on to the next step, having children. I’ve always been a firm believer in marriage before children, because marriage is something you choose, children are something that makes a family. A family is something that shouldn’t be broken. My childhood has a lot to do with that and I think that is a big factor in keeping my marriage strong and healthy.
I’ve see so many women getting married for the wrong reasons. Planning extravagant events all because they want all that attention on them, only to divorce shortly after for the wrong reasons, because it’s too hard to make it work. But maybe it’s time to ask yourself some questions. Are you communicating? Are you putting in all your effort? Have you already decided your marriage is over? Don’t give up because you think it’s too hard. Marriage isn’t easy for everyone. Here’s a great reference for someone in a troubled place…”Questions To Ask Yourself Before Ending your Marriage”
Divorce rates have fluctuated over the years hitting an all time high of 50% in the 80’s. Divorce rates have gone down by 3.5% from 2012-2013 but that’s still not much. We need to focusing on marriage and family. Our schedules can get so filled up with things to do; Birthday parties, work meetings, fitness… We need to be sure to plan some time just for our spouse, after all this is the person we pledged to spend the rest of our lives with. I would hate to turn around 50 years from now and be married to a complete stranger. We grow and we change, we must learn to do that together, always for the good of our marriage and family. So whatever your reason for getting married, remember this is not just a piece of paper or a tax cut, this is meant to be a life time commitment. If you don’t feel that it is, perhaps you should reconsider marriage.
Are you married? What are some things you do to stay connected? If you aren’t, are you going to get married one day?