I come from a divorced family and although I don’t think it is a good idea to “stay together for the kids” I do think it is important to not immediately resort to divorce. When Mr. Bailey and I were dating we talked about getting married and how neither one of us wanted to be in relationships where divorce or separation was even talked about. Before I get into Divorce not being in our vocabulary I would like to admit some faults on my side. I’m not the type to fight, I’m the type to sit quietly and build up a fire in my stomach of hate until I can break away to cry in a bathroom by myself. Obviously this is not a healthy practice and did not go over well with my husband who likes to work things out vocally. This has been one of our biggest adjustments as a couple and we still work on it daily but there is one thing I have never had to be afraid of and that was being threatened with divorce or breaking up or any of that.
There were times when I thought to myself ‘I’ve really pissed him off I think he might be done dealing with me‘ and that resulted in me being a total wreck. This of course did not go over well because to my husband that was never a possibility. We had long discussions about how that was not going to be us and that I shouldn’t be afraid to speak my mind because there wasn’t that threat that came along with making someone angry. I’ve talked to Mrs. Garza about this exact topic and we both agree that divorce is just too easy in this day and age. People just get married because it is simple and they don’t even try they know they don’t have to because a pre-nup and a court date will resolve all of your problems.
I don’t share fights or issues with people outside of my marriage (bar a couple of times with Mrs. Garza) because it’s nobody’s business. I also don’t want anyone trying to fill my head with that seven letter word that so many people are fond of. It would never happen but I also don’t seek out those certain people who promote it as the end all be all answer. Yes we fight and argue and bicker but you should. You should because it is healthy and you will feel better about it in the end. I have felt closer to my husband because of fights that we have had than I have felt with anyone I have ever met because I can be honest and real. I’m not perfect and I do throw fits for no reason and complain about things that aren’t even a big deal but we are honest. I’m a brat and he is sometimes a grump but it’s who we are and that doesn’t drive us apart it brings us closer.
Divorce is the answer for some people and I truly believe that some people do fall out of love or shouldn’t have been married in the first place. Then there are the people who do love each other who just give up when things get hard. They don’t even try in the end because partying, the single life, etc. is so enticing to them and the real world isn’t easy. Divorce isn’t in our vocabulary for a reason, we don’t believe in it and we don’t see it as a tool to threaten the other into submission. There are reasons for divorce and I do not promote staying together when you are in danger, your children are in danger, you are miserable, depressed etc. but I also don’t promote getting married and then giving up because it’s hard. Marriage is hard and I know that we haven’t even scratched the surface, but keeping constant communication and knowing each others goals will help ease those hard times. All of our love to all of you out there who just started your journey or are ending it for your own reasons.