If She’s Pregnant, You Both Are!

Stephanie G

Becoming parents is a huge life event. Some people think it’s no big deal, but it really is. Everything you do can be so crucial to having a healthy pregnancy, not only for baby but for you. How your partner deals with it is important as well. Their support can make a difference in your crazy hormone filled day. Preparing for the baby and making sure you have everything you need. The latest gadgets and advance in technology or maybe the best natural approach for things. It’s hard to be 100% ready because every baby is different and what works for one baby may not work for another.

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My youngest child at about 20 weeks.

I’ve personally found that there are two kinds of soon-to-be parents. One  accepts any and all advice because they have never done this before, these are quite rare. Then you have your most common future parent. They read and read and think that they are prepared for every obstacle that will come their way once that adorable little bundle arrives. Sometimes life just happens and we need to keep that in mind that not every thing goes as planned. I feel my husband and myself found ourselves at a happy medium. There were some people I would completely ignore any advice and opinions given. Then, there were people I would actually listening and consider any advice or experiences they had to offer.

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Myself, 7-8months with my first child.

The worst part about pregnancy can be very different from woman to woman. For some woman it’s the aches and pains of carrying around a 15lb. watermelon strapped to your abdomen, except you can’t remove it. You can’t sleep comfortably, you can’t sit comfortably in an upright position, and you start to get a waddle. Which you’ll be reminded of every time you give your precious one a bath with those little rubber duckies. For other woman there’s the morning sickness, which is so obviously named by a man. That plagued me with both of my pregnancies.  Wake up in the morning and get sick, brush you teeth and get sick, smell something stinky….you get the idea. It can hit anytime of day. For me it even happened in the middle of the night sometimes. I lost 30lb. during my first pregnancy and 37lb. during my second. I am that small percentage of women who are effected by severe morning sickness, it doesn’t happen like that for everyone. Pregnancy for myself is a very unpleasant experience. Seeing your partner go through all of this can bring up so many emotions. My husband is a very monotone person when it comes to showing emotions. At the beginning, I could see the look of worry on his face as I spent my frequent moments hugging toilet. He would always try to lighten the moods with jokes or offer assistance even though in those moments there was nothing he could really do. He’s also typically a bed hog and like to cuddle. There was no way that I was going to cuddle when I felt like it was 90 degrees and I was sweating like a pig. Towards the end he did everything he could, even giving up his extra pillow so I could add to the 4 I already in hopes of trying to find a position that I may be able to get some rest in.

While the majority of pregnancy is absolutely excruciating, in my opinion, there are moments that will take your breath away. I remember the first time I felt my oldest move. I was relaxing watching TV when I felt that first flutter. I stopped and held my stomach and waited, I had to be sure this was actually a baby and not the fried food I had the night before. I felt the flutter again, this was the moment when I remembered how badly I wanted to be a mother. For my husband it took him a bit longer to really get that same kind of excitement. Although her kicks were strong enough to feel on my belly by the end of the 5th month, he did not get to experience this until the 7th. Every time he tried to feel her move it was like a calm would wash over her and she would just stop. Now was my turn to comfort him. I just encouraged him to continuing talking to her and playing guitar for our sweet girl. Finally he managed to feel her move and to my surprise this monotone man shouted for the first time in our marriage, “Oh my god!” I laughed so hard from his reaction.

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Pregnancy can be very hard on some. Our local HEB acknowledges that.

WARNING: If you plan on having children you may want to skip this paragraph. Every pregnancy will be different and some strange and unexpected things can happen during pregnancy as well. Some of it I couldn’t believe and honestly I always wondered why we don’t tell our daughters about some of it, it would be the best form of birth control ever. So everyone knows about the frequent urination, so I’ll tell you about some other things you may not know. A woman’s foot can grow half to a whole shoe size during pregnancy. My feet are now a 10 instead a 9, as if my feet weren’t big enough already. Varicose veins are common to show their ugly face, for most woman on they’re legs, but with all the increased blood flow to your uterus you can develop them in some very uncomfortable places and they can also turn into hemorrhoids. They usually go away almost immediately after delivery. A partner could help in this situation but running a warm bath, it can help sooth those achy areas. Sometimes it’s good to carry carefree panty liners, not just for when you sneeze or cough but discharge. This can leave you feeling not so fresh or sexy. So remind that babe how amazing and beautiful she is, most woman lack some confidence when their body is going through all these crazy changes.

Baby showers can be a lot of fun. Especially if you’re fortunate enough to have someone throw one for you. I planned my own, my mother-in-law says she’s not very creative, so for me to just plan it and she’ll pay for everything. A close friend helped me prepare for the shower of my oldest, my youngest’s turned into a welcoming shower. I was very appreciative that I was able to plan mine. I’m a bit of a control freak when it comes to my girls. I say only expect 50-75% of the invited to actually attend. If someone asks what you want TELL THEM. I ended up with an obnoxious amount of onesies. I actually only got a few items that were extremely helpful. My experience at my own baby showers has made me very aware of what to give to my friends. I always try to give them something that will be useful and include a gift receipt. A lot of people plan co-ed baby showers now, but I have this feeling most women don’t realize men just don’t get as excited about babies as we do. So instead of begging your partner to stay because you need them because you’re pregnant, remember you’re going to be surrounded by woman who are going to be dying to cater to you. So instead of making them stay and hunting for something that isn’t chick food, let them go enjoy a day with the guys. Pregnancy can takes it toll on both people.

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The first time Mr.Garza held our daughter.

After 9 months of roller coasting between all the crazy symptoms and hormones, it’s finally time to hold your baby. While woman become mothers the day they find out their pregnant, it’s not going to be the same for our partners. That moment isn’t as real to them until they actually get to cradle that sweet baby. An uncomfortable induction, 12 hours of labor, and 45 mins of pushing and we finally got to meet our beautiful Sophia. They laid her on my chest and I began to cry. They only words I could find were, “beautiful.” After sitting there for a few moments they finally took her for a moment to weight her and make sure everything was absolutely as perfect as it seemed. The nursed swaddled her and asked Mr.Garza if he would like to hold her, of course after all this time how could he refuse. In that moment I saw that I was no longer the girl to hold his heart. This beautiful creation that we made already had him wrapped around her tiny little finger. After all this time I finally had the family I’ve waited so long for.

So while you’re miserable and happy all at the same time while that amazing creation is growing inside of you, remember to keep that special person in your life close so that they can feel connected and enjoy every moment with you.

S Garza

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